Just a human
by T.E.D.S
Summary: She is wicked and evil, but still, Bellatrix Lestrange is just a human. THIS IS NOT A BELLAxHARRY FIC. Contains: Bella's pre-Azkaban memories. Complete now!
1. Words

_She killed Sirius_, Harry thought while chasing Bellatrix, _I must kill her, she deserves it…_

'_Crucio!_' he yelled, pointing his wand at the Death Eater. Bellatrix fell down with a short shriek of pain. She dropped her wand and Harry kicked it away so that she couldn't reach it. Bellatrix rolled over just to see the holly wand pointed at her and urge to kill in these _Avada kedavra_-coloured eyes. She knew she had to act quickly if she was to survive, so the said first thing she could think of.

'I like chocolate.'

Potter looked confused for a while, but then returned to his angry look. Well, he cornered her, she had to admit that, but…

'I like chocolate' she repeated quickly. 'I had a cat once… it was a tabby Celtic shorthair, his name was Rigel. I listen to classic music a lot… I have a husband, you probably know. Our first kiss was wonderful. When I was a teenager, I would get drunk about once a month, and never regretted this. Oh, I loved pulling pranks on my classmates… and younger students as well. I was never good at Herbology, but I loved the Charms. My parents would get me at least one comb and hairbrush for every Christmas, and I always wondered why, as I never used any of these…'

Harry was even more confused, and he even lowered his wand a little bit.

'…I can cook, even though we have a house elf. But Roddy just loves my _risalamande_, so he admits sometimes that even aristocratic pure-blood women can use the kitchen by themselves, not only ordering around' Bellatrix continued. 'We want to have a child, a baby… we both wish for a girl, to dress her nicely, plait her hair and play with her. We tried before, but… but I got hit with an auror's curse and miscarried…' she let two tears trickle down her cheeks. 'When we try again, I won't let it happen.'

Harry dropped his wand.

For evil as she was, she was still just a human.

_Reviews: love._


	2. Thoughts

_Ladies and gentlemen, at the beginning of this chapter __I'd like to thank for both the reviews I got for the first chapter (actually, the story was planned as a one-shot, but thanks to an anonymous yet nice German lady, nicked "just a girl", I decided to write more), and answer to the anonymous one._

_Dear just a girl, Bellatrix told Harry all this merely because she knew this weak point of the "good ones" – they find it hard to kill a human when they see anything good, anything normal, in them. So she wanted to make Harry see this so that he wouldn't kill her. No one likes to die. And even if she lied to him – why would it bother her? People do most horrid things to save their lives, and a mere lie is one of the first things they would do. As you wish – there will be more chapters, I don't know when exactly, because it's the summer holidays and I spend most of this in the countryside, where the access to the internet is only when I manage to steal some from my neighbors. Still, there will be no non-canon pairings, and I do not wish to alter the plot (I do this in enough of my stories__). How am I going to do this? Well, read on and find out!_

_Remember that this story is based on the book rather than the movie._

Bellatrix was home again. The manor was empty, as neither her husband nor her brother-in-law returned from the Department of Mysteries. She was the only Death Eater to be rescued by the Dark Lord, and she appreciated it – but she couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of loneliness. She remembered Rigel – the cat would always pretend she wasn't there unless she really needed him. Then he would curl on her laps and purr until she stopped crying. And Rigel was gone – he had died a few years ago, when she was in Azkaban. _I need another cat_, she thought, _someone to wait for me… someone who would never get captured – because they wouldn't be Death Eaters…_

She never regretted joining them, but sometimes she wished her husband wasn't one. Then she would be sure he was safe. Then she would be sure that if they had a child, that child wouldn't be completely orphaned if she was caught and sent to jail again…

Suddenly Bellatrix realized that the manor was not _completely_ empty. There had to be this house elf. Not that it would make any company, but it could bring… Bellatrix licked her lips and called the elf.

'Mistress was calling Whiny?' the elf asked with a bow.

'Yes. Whiny, bring me chocolate. Then prepare a bath' she ordered. The elf bowed again and Disapparated, then came back with a huge slab of her favorite chocolate. And disappeared again.

Bellatrix unwrapped the chocolate and bit into it. She once saw a headline in _Witch Weekly_, "Calories can't make you happy". Whoever wrote it, definitely never had a taste of good chocolate after a long action. All the three Lestranges agreed that chocolate is great to cheer up after a failure, and to celebrate after a success. Even though it tasted better in a company, Bellatrix enjoyed every bite of her bar.

While taking a long, warm bath, with some fragrance oil in the water – she got a lot of these from Roddy – she remembered everything that happened that night, and she couldn't help crying. Crying not only over the captured – Roddy, who was always a wonderful support, and Rabbit, who was her best drinking buddy when they were teenagers, but also over Sirius. She didn't intend to kill him. She wanted to Stun him only, and then maybe take him home and… and play for a while… and warn him not to stand between her and her aim… She wanted him alive, for even if he was a blood traitor, he was a wonderful victim for her not-so-innocent pranks. It was never this much fun with her sister. Sirius was just equal to her, and the whole wizard war could easily turn into yet another cousin competition. If only Sirius was alive.

Bellatrix moved in the bathtub. The water was slightly reddish with blood. Fortunately, mostly not hers. This time, most of her injury was just bruises.

It _was_ reckless to tell the Potter boy all she told him. Hardly anyone knew this much about her. But it would be even more reckless to get herself killed…

Being 45 years old, a Death Eater, a wife and an escapee from Azkaban, still deep inside Bellatrix was the same cruel yet reckless teenager.

At the same time, Harry was lying in his bed in the Gryffindor dormitory, mourning over Sirius and thinking over everything he heard from Bellatrix. Well, he could believe she liked chocolate, as out of ten people, nine admit to like chocolate and the tenth lies. Still it didn't seem very likely that all this was true…

He also wondered why she had told him all this. This evil bitch lost her unborn child? Good, one Death Eater less…

And he gasped. There wasn't so much difference between them two; _he had used an Unforgivable Curse_. He deserved a life imprisonment too… who knew when Bellatrix used it for the first time in her life. He wasn't even sixteen and he had already used an Unforgivable Curse…

_Reviews: love. __Following chapters will be flashbacks. And I have no bloody idea when._


	3. Memories: drinking

_Flashbacks ahead! This time, __less angst. We're going back to teenager times of Bellatrix._

'So one more!' Rabastan yelled, raising his glass. 'To every future while spent together!'

'To the future!' Bellatrix giggled and drank. Rodolphus hesitated for a while, but drank too.

'Er… Belwa… Rabbit… I had nufff…' he said. He could never drink as much as his little brother or his girlfriend.

'Real noble never says "enough"!' Rabastan laughed, pouring his brother another glass. Rodolphus surrendered. He had problems with sitting straight, so he was half lying on the table. Bellatrix lifted him gently.

'Nuffff…' Rodolphus said sleepily.

'Give me a kiss and we'll get you to your bed' Bellatrix said. Rodolphus did as she wanted.

'_Mobilicorpus_' Rabastan said, pointing his wand at his brother. He levitated him to his bed and covered with a blanket.

'Goodnight, big brother' he whispered and came back to Bellatrix. They got drunk to the point of _veritas_, but it couldn't do any harm, as neither of them was to remember what they confessed to each other.

'Wabbit… twas me who dyed youw wobes wwwwed…' Bellatrix said.

'An Belwa… twas me who sssssent you twis valine cawd… s-signed Malfoy…'

'Wan… duel, Belwa?' Rabastan asked, giggling like a girl. Bellatrix laughed aloud and pulled her wand out. Still laughing, they were casting random curses at each other, usually just staining the surrounding, but a few spells hit the teenagers. Soon they were both lying on the floor, with a few burn marks and their hair dyed – Rabastan's bright yellow, Bellatrix's neon pink – and laughing as if they wanted to wake all the Slytherins with it.

'We… go to bwed ow sleep hewe?' Bellatrix asked. Rabastan laughed, stood up and tried to walk to the boys' dormitory, but it took him three tries to go through the door. Seeing how he hit his head against the wall twice, Bellatrix decided to curl right where she lay and sleep on the floor. Soon she snored loudly, like every time she was drunk.

'Have I ever told you that you look beautiful with pink hair?' she heard a voice which woke her up. She raised her head and saw her boyfriend.

'Oh, yes, Roddy' she said, 'Every morning after drinking night. But I still don't like it this way. Could you make it normal again?'

'Oh no, I'd rather keep it the way it is' Rodolphus chuckled. 'Don't you want to look beautiful for your Roddy?'

'I only don't want my sisters to see… and you know that if you don't do it, I'll do it myself.'

'Okay, okay' Rodolphus flicked his wand. 'But just so you know, I'd like your hair pink when we're together, just you and me…'

'It would be a pleasure' Bellatrix giggled.

'And wear your pink dress when we're going somewhere' Rodolphus whispered to her ear.

_Today's flashback was quite humorous, but don't expect such the next time. Please review to make me update faster!_


	4. Memories: Christmas

_Now we're going back in time even more, and we're in the pre-Hogwarts times of the Black sisters. __This chapter is somewhat based by my own childhood experiences._

'Merry Christmas!' Andromeda shouted enthusiastically. Bellatrix pushed her gently away.

'Andy, it's barely dawn' she groaned. 'Let me sleep…'

'Christmas gifts, Bella! Cissy is already opening hers!' Andromeda insisted.

'No…' Bellatrix whined again and pulled her blanket over her head.

'As you wish' Andromeda laughed and left. She came back after a while, carrying a bucket of cold water.

SPLASH.

'I'll kill you!' Bellatrix screamed, chasing her younger sister. Andromeda stuck her tongue out and ran away. She hid behind her mother.

'Bella is threatening me!' she squealed. Druella frowned and faced Bellatrix.

'Now, Bellatrix Black, that's enough! Even on the Christmas day you can't stop bullying your sisters?' she asked angrily.

'But… but I…' Bellatrix tried to explain herself, but she knew already that it was lost: as the eldest, she would always get the blame.

'But you what? You should care of your sisters and not bully them!'

'Andromeda made me all wet!' Bellatrix burst out.

'It wasn't me!' Andromeda squealed. 'It – it was…'

'Yes, it was WHAT?' Bellatrix spat.

'ENOUGH' Druella said strongly. 'Bellatrix – go to your room. Now. And stay there until you think over your behavior!'

Andromeda sneered and stuck her tongue out at her elder sister again. Bellatrix mumbled something and went to her room, as there was no point arguing. She sat down on the floor, hugging her legs.

'It's not fair' the mumbled to herself. 'Mum loves Andromeda more than me. And she always thinks that I'm the one guilty. Just because I'm the _eldest_. She always believes Andy. Never me. It's not fair. Andy gets everything better than me. She never has to share with me and I always have to share with her. And with Cissy, but Cissy isn't such a brat. Cissy shares with me too. And Cissy never goes like, "Mommy, Bella is mean to me". Andy overuses her position of the younger. Cissy never took advantage of being the youngest…'

She didn't notice when she started crying. Then she stood up and grabbed her most hated doll, the one that Andromeda got last Christmas but didn't like, and Bellatrix was forced to swap her own new doll with her sister's.

'I hate you' she hissed. 'I'll kill you one day, and even before it, mum will see that I'm a good girl and you're a sick little LIAR!'

Bellatrix hit her doll, imagining it was Andromeda herself. She threw it on the floor and jumped on it a few times.

'You… useless… traitor! Your… own… sister…' she kept hissing. 'I'll learn every curse and try them all on you! I hate you, Andromeda…'

'Bella?' someone said shyly. Bellatrix turned her head and saw her youngest sister.

'Yes, Cissy?' she asked as if she hadn't just let her fury out. The blonde girl came up to her.

'Mommy says that if you al no longel bad fol Andy then you may come down' she said. 'And that Auntie Walbulga and Uncle Olion al coming fol dinnel with Silius and we can see him…'

Bellatrix smiled. Of course, her parents would like to make a show-off with three cute daughters, and it wouldn't help them if one was locked in her room…

'Tell mommy that I haven't finished what she told me to do' she said, hugging Narcissa. The younger girl nodded and went away. Bellatrix shut the door and turned the key. She was pretty aware that it wouldn't stop anyone, but it could at least show them what she thought about them changing their mind so quickly.

Bellatrix was by no means enthusiastic to see her baby cousin, just like she wasn't enthusiastic to see little Evan, Uncle Evan's son, the Christmas before. She knew that all the talking by the table was going to be about Sirius, and no one was going to appreciate her not-so-accidental magic. She even dried herself and her bed! Wasn't it worth some praise?

'Three more years and I'm going to Hogwarts, three more years and I'm going to Hogwarts, three more years…' she repeated to herself. Thought of Christmas without her family was so tempting…

Bellatrix sighed and decided to leave her room. There was no point pouting for a long time, at least for her – Andromeda could gain anything by this. She went to the Christmas tree to unpack her gifts.

'Look, Bella, Santa brought me a new doll!' Andromeda beamed. Bellatrix grinned evilly.

'Oh, Andy, Andy… Santa doesn't exist!' she sneered. Andromeda frowned.

'If Santa doesn't exist, who brings us gifts?' she asked logically. Bellatrix pointed at three of her gifts.

'Look at the handwriting. These three have all different, and familiar! If these were from Santa, the handwriting would be the same on all of them. This is from mom and dad' she raised one of them, 'and I can bet it's a hairbrush and a comb. This one has Uncle Evan's handwriting. I guess it's a book, as he always calls me "his smartest niece". And this one must be from Aunt Walburga and Uncle Orion. Most probably a doll…'

'So…' Andromeda sobbed. 'You _knew_ it? You _knew_ that Santa doesn't exist, and that mom and dad lie to us?'

'I knew it since I turned four' Bellatrix laughed. 'And I figured it all by myself, and this is why Uncle Evan calls me smart. Well, Cissy also has some suspicions…'

'I HATE YOU!' Andromeda screamed and ran away. Bellatrix grinned even wider. She knew that she deserved a punishment once again, but it was so totally worth it…

She opened the first gift from her parents and sighed. She was right: it _was_ another hairbrush and comb.

_No, I'm not the eldest. I'm the middle of three kids (and the only girl), so I used to act more like Andromeda in here._

_Guess who __Uncle Evan is._

_Next flashback will be about __Rigel. Leave a review please! It will make me more eager to update soon._


	5. Memories: kitten

_As I told you before, this __chapter is about Rigel the cat. Not much angst. Enjoy!_

'Your home is a bit sad' Rabastan stated. Rodolphus shrugged.

'You know, we do our best to bring some more happiness in here, to have some squeals and cooing… but no result so far…'

'One day we'll succeed' Bellatrix assured. Rabastan nodded understandingly and lifted the basket he brought.

'Maybe for the time being this will help?' he asked and lifted the cloth covering the basket. The married Lestranges looked into it.

'Meow…' the little kitten inside looked at them with its huge, green eyes. It tried to catch Bellatrix's curls. The woman giggled and stroked the kitten.

'Did you buy it for us?' Rodolphus asked. Rabastan shook his head.

'No… it's one out of my Flame's litter. A boy. All the others found their new homes so far, and only this one is left… do you want him?'

Rodolphus wanted to refuse, but he saw his wife stroking the ball of fur and her smile and he couldn't resist.

'Of course we do' he said. 'Thanks, Rabbit. But why aren't we the first ones to see the kittens?'

'I'm sorry… all but this one were chosen by their new owners on the very first day of their life. I wanted first to keep this one, but Flame hisses at him and…'

'I see' Rodolphus nodded. The kitten was definitely a pure-bred Celtic shorthair, like Rabastan's Flame and his neighbor's Yankee. It was a tabby male.

'Thank you, Rabbit' Bellatrix hugged her brother-in-law. Maybe the hug was a little bit too long and too tight, but Rodolphus shook this thought away. Mentioning this would never do him any good.

'So, Rabbit' Rodolphus said, 'Care for a drink, or you're in hurry?'

'I'm not in hurry' Rabastan replied, 'But I must then Apparate back home, and…'

'Well' Rodolphus interrupted him. 'By asking if you're in hurry I meant if you could stay overnight if drinking goes out of control.'

'I rather couldn't. I have some job to do tomorrow morning, but well, I won't refuse a shot…'

Soon the three Lestranges sat at the table, the kitty curled on Bellatrix's laps, and Rodolphus filled the glasses.

'Rabbit, please make a toast' he said. Rabastan nodded and raised his glass.

'To the next generation' he said, the others repeated and drank. When Rabastan left, Bellatrix created a bowl and a basket for the cat and fed him.

'What are you going to name this ball of fur?' Rodolphus asked jokingly. Bellatrix giggled.

'Rigel' she said flatly.

'Rigel? What's this word? Does it even mean anything?'

'Of course… it's a star…'

'Should have known' Rodolphus chuckled. 'You Blacks are all about stars… what would you name our kid then, Ursa Major?'

Bellatrix laughed louder and pushed her husband gently.

'There are many nice names on the sky!' she said.

'Well, I know only one' Rodolphus said, kissing his wife. 'Now when we have a cat, we should try once again… just one more piece of the jigsaw and I'll be able to use the mirror of Erised to shave…'

'No, don't do this' Bellatrix whined.

'What, you think mirror of Erised shouldn't be used for shaving?'

'No, I think you shouldn't shave.'

'You are the only one that thinks this way…'

'Keep this beard for me, please…'

'Only if you dye your hair pink for me. Just for two weeks.'

'Deal.'

Rigel soon found a good place in the Lestrange Manor, and he learned that even ignoring the hosts most of the time, he would still get the food and some stroking. He had also a hard lesson that attacking Rodolphus' bare feet when the wizard was going to his bedroom was not a good idea, and Rodolphus made sure that the Cruciatus Curse worked not only on humans. Needless to say, Rigel pissed to his shoes and then decided to avoid the man, and stick more to Bellatrix, who was never stingy with caress for him. It took months until he started returning the caress to her, and then he learned that the nicer for her he was, the nicer for him she became.

But he never dropped his little habit of waking "his woman" with cold nose.

_If you liked this, please review to make me eager to update soon._


	6. Memories: cousin

_We're coming to the end. __Apart of this chapter, there will be only one._

Bellatrix felt a little nervous, as if it was her who was going to get Marked that day. Rodolphus felt very like laughing at this, but he was pretty aware that if something upset his wife, she would most probably blast a random curse. And he wouldn't like getting a Rictumsempra again. But as she was making the last preparations, he couldn't help chuckling a little.

'My darling, you look very proud today' he said. Bellatrix sighed and smiled.

'That's because I am' she admitted. 'Who wouldn't be proud that their little cousin follows their steps?'

'That's a point' Rodolphus nodded. 'And he'll make the youngest Death Eater in history. He's sixteen, right?'

'Right' Bellatrix beamed with pride. Rodolphus grinned as he remembered her cursing the whole world nearly two years ago, when her sorry excuse for a cousin ran off.

'Bella, I'm ready' Regulus said, his voice trembling. He squeezed his cousin's hand, once again making Rodolphus chuckle.

'Nervous?' the Death Eater asked. Regulus nodded with fear in his eyes, but only after he and Bellatrix left home, he dared to ask.

'Bella, does it hurt?'

His voice was still trembling. Bellatrix hugged him warmly. She had an impression that if she had any sons, she would react to their Markings just the same.

'Yes, Reggie – it hurts a lot' she whispered. 'But you're a big boy now, and I'm sure you'll endure.'

Regulus rolled his eyes.

'Could you _please_ not call me Reggie in front of the Dark Lord?' he whined. Bellatrix nodded.

'Yet it would please Rabbit a lot' she said pensively. Regulus chuckled.

'Because it would stop others laughing at his nickname?'

'Probably.'

'Is this true that he taught you the Dark Arts?' Regulus almost jumped in excitement.

'Yes, he saw that I was talented, but not trained yet, and so he taught me everything…'

'Would he teach me too?'

'Maybe. You are talented. Yet I think he can as well tell me to do so. Don't worry, you'll learn everything you need…'

Regulus nodded. Bellatrix localized the Dark Lord, held her cousin's hand and Disapparated. They appeared in a dark room, lit only by a small fire in the fireplace.

'My Lord' Bellatrix whispered. 'We came.'

'Good' the Dark Lord turned to them and looked at Regulus. The boy had an impression that he was x-rayed with these eyes.

'So, here's your boy' the Dark Lord said. 'Well, Bellatrix, I hope you taught him the basics… so, young man… you want to follow your mom's way?'

'My mom?' Regulus looked confused and he felt Bellatrix tensing.

'My Lord' the woman said, 'Regulus is not my son.'

Regulus had an impression that he heard something like regret in her voice.

'We are cousins' Regulus added. Voldemort winced.

'Whatever' he said. 'Bellatrix, you claim he is worthy… and I have no reasons not to believe you. Every time you brought someone here, he proved to be a wonderful Death Eater. So… you're now recommending your cousin… come here, young man, I don't bite…' Voldemort drew his wand. His snake hissed loudly as Regulus approached.

'Oh yeah, _she_ does' Voldemort admitted. 'I must get your left arm, young man…'

Regulus pulled up his left sleeve and he grabbed Bellatrix's left hand with his right. His cousin squeezed his hand in a comforting gesture. When Voldemort touched Regulus' arm with his wand, the boy wanted to scream in pain, but Bellatrix stroked him gently. The whole process of burning the Dark Mark on skin didn't last long.

'You may leave' Voldemort said. The two cousins bowed to him and Disapparated.

'So now I'm going home' Regulus smiled.

'I'll take you there' Bellatrix said. 'And come to us about eight, we'll have a little celebrating.'

When Regulus came to his cousin's house at eight, there were a few people waiting. There was his cousin Bellatrix of course, with her husband, as the host. There was his other cousin, Narcissa, with her husband Lucius – Regulus knew he was a Death Eater too. And there was Rabastan Lestrange.

A little Death Eater celebration, Regulus thought and he handed a gift he'd prepared just a while earlier to Bellatrix.

'Thank you, Bella' he said. 'It's just a little thank you gift. I remember you liked them always, so…'

Bellatrix unwrapped the packet. Inside, there was some soil with stems with narrow bluish green leaves growing out of it, and with a few buds and one flower.

White carnation.

'Thank you, Reggie' Bellatrix said and kissed her little cousin on the cheek. Then she ordered Whiny to plant the flowers in the garden, leaving them a lot of space, as "these bastards spread like mad".

There were congratulations to Regulus, and everyone wanted to see his Dark Mark. His arm around it was reddish and swollen, and the Mark still hurt, but Regulus was happy to have it. And then, Bellatrix filled glasses with wine for everyone.

'So now, time to raise our glasses' she said. 'To Reggie Black, youngest Death Eater we've ever had!'

'To Reggie' everyone repeated and they drank.

Bellatrix felt wonderful with her life. She was the Dark Lord's most trusted servant, now praised even more for picking young talents, her little cousin admired her, she had her husband's love, her favorite flowers grew in her garden, Rigel stopped having his "noisy nights"… there was only one thing that could go better, and Bellatrix was sure that one day it would.

In other words, there was almost nothing that could spoil her good mood.

But just about a week after Regulus got his Mark, a letter from Aunt Walburga came. It was terribly enigmatic, everything that Bellatrix understood was that something awful happened and she was needed. So she Disapparated almost immediately.

'What's happened, Auntie?' she asked. She noticed that her aunt was close to tears.

'My son… my son is dead' Walburga said. Bellatrix gasped, her heart almost stopped, but she had this last flinch of hope…

'Sirius?' she asked. She didn't want Sirius dead either, but it was at least a little bit better than Reggie…

'He is not my son!' Walburga burst out. Bellatrix knew that it wasn't a good idea to break down yet; she had an opinion of a person whom nothing can bother to the point of crying, and she wanted to keep it. Crying could wait until she was home again.

'Poor Reggie' she said instead. 'He was so talented…'

'My little hero' Walburga cried. 'He is lost in action, everything that Kreacher said was that he was doing something for the Dark Lord… and his body is gone too…'

Something grated in Bellatrix's throat. She had to tell this…

'It might be my fault' she confessed. 'I was the one who brought him to the Dark Lord.'

'No – no, my girl, it's not…'

Bellatrix hugged her aunt. The little comfort was everything she could give to her.

A few days later there was a symbolic funeral. Of course, Bellatrix knew that the coffin was empty. Still she hoped against hope that it was just some big mistake, and Reggie – _her_ Reggie – was lost, but still alive. The coffin was buried in the ancestral tomb, and before it, another name appeared. _Regulus Arcturus Black_.

Bellatrix took something small out of her pocket and laid it next to the name. Then she left, just not to let anyone see her crying.

The small object was a white carnation flower.

_About carnations spreading like mad: it's true, at least in my garden. I like them a lot, so I let them spread a little, but if I left every single stem, my garden would be covered in white carnations before I graduate from the university! And my mom doesn't want it to happen._

_Please review just before the final chapter! _


	7. Memories: baby

_This is the chapter with most angst you __have ever seen in this story. Go and prepare yourself hot chocolate before you read._

Rodolphus came home and saw Bellatrix waiting for him, wearing the dress she wore only on special occasions. She was beaming with happiness.

'You look wonderful' Rodolphus said, kissing his wife. 'What are we celebrating today? Has anything special happened?'

Bellatrix purred with delight.

'Veeeeery special' she said. 'And veeeery worth celebrating…'

Rodolphus stroked her.

'Is that a secret?' he asked jokingly. Bellatrix giggled.

'It can't be kept a secret for a long time… it will be clearly visible soon…'

'So you can as well tell me now' Rodolphus tilted his head. 'What is the very special news?'

Bellatrix threw her arms around her husband's neck.

'Roddy, I'm going to have a baby' she whispered to his ear. And she laughed at his expression.

'Oh, Bella, this is so wonderful – hope it's a girl!' Rodolphus exclaimed. 'We must tell my mum – and your mum – and…'

'No…' Bellatrix whined jokingly. 'Let's keep it a surprise for them… we'll go and show them the baby when she's born…'

'Okay, as you wish… but if we see any of them when it will be noticeable, we'll mention it, right?'

'Of course…'

'How far are you along?'

'About five, maybe six weeks. I wanted to be sure and…'

'Enough…' Rodolphus whispered tenderly and kissed his wife on the lips. Then he stroked her abdomen, humming something like a lullaby.

For following weeks, Rodolphus was doing his best to completely spoil his wife. _She deserves it_, he thought, _she is carrying our baby daughter, so no caress would be too much…_

However, Bellatrix kept repeating him that she hadn't turned into some fragile china only because she was expecting a baby. She was slightly annoyed by her husband not letting her do anything. Of course she wasn't going to run marathon, but she was perfectly capable of washing herself or feeding Rigel! It took her two weeks to make Rodolphus surrender, and only because she offered to make _risalamande_, like every time they had a good reason to celebrate. The Danish dessert of chopped almonds, rice, milk and whipped cream, generously poured with cherry sauce, was not only a fulfillment of one of Bellatrix's cravings, but also something that Rodolphus always loved. He could never resist it, and as their house elf couldn't make it as delicious as Bellatrix, he agreed for her to occupy herself with something else than embroidering clothes for the baby.

'What will we name her?' Bellatrix asked, helping herself to _risalamande_. Rodolphus smiled.

'My mum would be grateful for Margaret, but I don't really like this name… maybe as the middle name, but well, it should be your idea with the first name… you know, to make her remember she carries the blood of Black… should I bring you the sky map?'

Bellatrix chuckled. Rodolphus would always joke about the Black tradition of naming the kids, and after a few years it started amusing her as well. But she didn't need the sky map to know the name she would love to give to her daughter.

'Lacerta' she said. 'What do you think about this name?'

'Very nice' Rodolphus nodded. 'Lacerta Margaret Lestrange… beautiful.'

'And what if it's a boy?' Bellatrix asked teasingly. Of course she hoped for a girl, but both her and Rodolphus' parents wished for a male heir.

'It must be a girl, my beloved. It must be our Lacerta Margaret. But if it's a boy… are you sure you don't need the sky map?'

'I am. But the boy would have the star name as the middle, so you pick the first name.'

'Oh, maybe something simple, like… like Tom? My father's best friend at school was named Tom…'

'Tom is nice' Bellatrix agreed. 'Tom Auriga, or maybe Tom Capricorn? Or… or Tom Eridanus…'

'Tom Capricorn. So, how do you like it, Lacerta Margaret or Tom Capricorn?' Rodolphus stroked Bellatrix's abdomen.

Days passed and Bellatrix's cravings got annoying even for her. She could usually kill for a bowl of green peas with spicy mayonnaise – or at least _Crucio_ for it. And as no one could make the mayonnaise spicy enough for her, she made it by herself. When she was on a walk with Rodolphus, suddenly they both felt their Marks burn. They of course had expected it, as there was a long break lately, so they knew that the Dark Lord could call them in anytime. They glanced at each other and Disapparated to the Dark Lord. Bellatrix felt a little uneasy. They didn't share the news with anyone, so she was quite glad that there was no outside sign of Lacerta Margaret or Tom Capricorn, as she didn't know how the rest of the Death Eaters would react for her pregnancy. Not to mention the Dark Lord himself…

This meeting went quite predictably, the only thing unexpected by the Death Eaters was that Bellatrix did not volunteer for any action. But they would always complain when she got the most fun tasks, so they were quite happy about it.

On the next meeting, Voldemort called the three Lestranges personally.

'I have a special task for the three of you' he said.

'My Lord, but…' Bellatrix started, but the Dark Lord interrupted her.

'No buts. You three are excellent duelists, so you will definitely do it. Your task is…'

'I can't do this!' Bellatrix yelled.

'Oh, I'm sure you can. Capture Caradoc Dearborn, he is probably guarded by two aurors, but he should have very useful knowledge. Capture him alive and bring to me…'

'But my Lord, I'm…' Bellatrix tried again.

'Don't you want to serve me, Bellatrix?'

'Oh of course I do, but…'

'My wife just CAN'T do this now!' Rodolphus cried loudly. Voldemort pointed his wand at him.

'Are you defying my orders?' he hissed. Rodolphus stepped back.

'No, I'm not' he sighed. He spent the rest of time before their planned ambush by placing protective charms over Lacerta Margaret or Tom Capricorn. Soon everything was ready.

Dearborn was indeed guarded by two aurors: the Longbottoms. The plan was simple: the Lestrange brothers were to attack the guards and Bellatrix was to grab the captive. At first, it went smoothly. The aurors were more than pleased to see the Death Eater brothers, but two skilled duelists did their best to make them less happy. They distracted them enough for Bellatrix to grab Dearborn.

'STUPEFY!' Frank Longbottom yelled, pointing his wand at Bellatrix. She couldn't dodge, and she fell motionless on the ground for a while, before her husband used _Enervate_ on her. Then the plan went again as it was supposed to go. The Lestrange brothers played a little with the aurors, but they let them live – Rodolphus wanted to join his wife, and Rabastan decided to have a good sleep after a non-killing day. Plus, they knew already that the Longbottoms were no threat for them, and they had no orders about killing them.

Rodolphus came back home and heard his wife crying. He came to the room where she was, but the door was locked.

'Bella?' he asked. Bellatrix didn't answer.

'Can I come in?' he tried again. Still no reply.

'I'll come in anyway!' he said louder. The only answer was more sobbing. Rodolphus sighed and pointed his wand at the lock.

'_Alohomora_' he whispered and opened the door. Bellatrix was sitting right on the floor, looking at her right hand, which was covered with blood, and stroking purring Rigel with her left hand.

'Bella' he said softly. 'What happened?'

Bellatrix closed her hand and faced her husband. Her eyes were red and puffy with tears and her face was an expression of pure despair. Rodolphus hugged her gently.

'What's wrong with you?' he asked. He was always caring, and Bellatrix could count on him whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on.

'No-nothing' Bellatrix choked on the word. 'There's no-nothing wrong with me…'

'Then what happened?' Rodolphus insisted. Bellatrix shook her head. Rodolphus held her right wrist and opened her hand.

And gasped in shock.

He hugged Bellatrix even tighter. He cried together with her.

There, on Bellatrix's hand, lay a tiny corpse, just about two inches long. Corpse of Lacerta Margaret or Tom Capricorn.

'He ki-killed hiiiim!' Bellatrix cried. Rodolphus didn't know what to say. That everything would be okay after some time? No, he knew that nothing would be okay. That they could try again? No, it wouldn't help; Bellatrix would fear that this nightmare would just repeat. That Longbottom would pay for this? Maybe…

But for now, nothing would help. Rodolphus decided to keep hugging his wife and let her cry it out.

And wait for the first opportunity to avenge the baby.

_And so, the tale of Bella's memories ends here. Review please!_


	8. Permission to translate

_This is not a chapter. Read only if you're interested in translations._

I hereby allow everyone who wants it to translate this story into every language they want, as long as I am credited for creating this, preferably with a link to the original and/or my fanfiction . net profile, and given a link to the translation (can be for my email).


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